13 Then Moses said to God, “Behold, when I come to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers (ancestors) has sent me to you,’ and they say to me, ‘What is His name?’ What shall I say to them?”
Exodus 3
Breath.
For such an important part of our lives, it has always been interesting to me that it makes such a slight sound. We hardly pay attention to it until something out of the ordinary happens, such as a hard run or sudden scare, and then we notice its power.
The moment I become aware of my breath is almost exclusively when I am annoyed by it. I want it to slow, to relax, to do anything except what it is doing: giving evidence that I am more in of it need than I am willing to let on. Pounding breath is so frustrating because in its heaves I hear that I am not okay.
For such a small thing, it always seems to highlight the whole of my emotions. A highlighter across everything I try to hide.
For those of us that have panic attacks, listening to our breath is so important. It is essentially our key out. Slow it down and we start to see light at the end of the tunnel.
5
…Keep it soft
4
…and still
3
…and eventually
2
…this
1
…will fade.
As anyone with frequent panic episodes will tell you, the reason so many recommend focusing on your breath is because it draws your thoughts away from the problem and onto a solution. By intentionally focusing on regulating my breathing, I draw my mind off the problem onto one of the most basic aspects of what it means to live. Joel, don’t worry about everything else, come back to the basics…breathe in, breathe out…
It makes me wonder if this is why the name of God in Hebrew sounds like breathing. Literally, the name of God sounds like a person taking a breath (there is an excellent teaching by Rob Bell on this…).
Written without vowels, God’s name is less a pronounceable proper noun and more a rhythm of sound. In saying it, you speak out a rise and fall of sound.
When God first revealed his name to a man named Moses, it was in direct response to Moses’ anxiety over what God had asked him to do. Moses was having a panic moment because he had no idea even what to call God so how could he ever explain the plan to them. God’s response was as straight forward as you can get.
_God said to Moses, “I Am Who I Am”
But God does not stop there. He says something that is so easy for me to simply read past…
_Then God also said to Moses, “This is what you shall say to the Israelites, ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob (Israel), has sent me to you.’ This is My Name forever, and this is My memorial [name] to all generations. (Exodus 3)
The word, “The LORD,” is called the Tetragrammaton – the divine four letters. Together, they make up the breathing sounds, the subtle rhythm. The sounds are basically translated as:
Yod.
He.
Waw.
He.
It’s so strange, the more you say the name of God, the more relaxing it is. It is as if even God’s name calms us down. I don’t think that is a coincidence.
I don’t know the ultimate reason as to why it is written or said the way God revealed it, but I do know this: when I am locked away in a panic attack, when I am huddled on the bathroom floor trying to claw my way back to the most basic reality of life (that I am not in fact dying!), God makes all the difference.
He changes the game and the rules at once.
Remembering that my life is held in God’s hands – whether I understand the path it is taking or not – changes everything.
It is not easy and involves a lot of closing your eyes, steeling your heart, and fighting back at times. But in those moments, there is such a hope.
5
…Yod
4
…He
3
…Waw
2
…He
1
He is still in control.
He still fights for us.
We can still fall into His arms.
Amen and Amen.
Chasing The Wild Beast 