To My “Kids”

I have no idea where this is going, and I have written it over and over so many times, but I feel this should be the last time.  I either say it now or stop trying.  So here it goes…

To my ‘Kids,’

I love you guys.

If you get nothing out of this, I hope this one idea comes across in these ramblings.

I have made a lot of mistakes in my life; most I am not proud of.  Many of them though, have shaped me in ways that I could never have expected.  They were rough.  I was an idiot.  But in bringing me low, I was able to remember what was still true about me.  I was brought back to the idea over and over again that Jesus tells us that while we were “still dead in our sin,” literally when we were actually in the act of sin, Jesus saw through all time and let the nails be pounded through His hands. He chose the Cross-and though it looked like the final word against Him-it wasn’t. Because you can’t kill Light.  Three days later, Death found out it could not own Him, which means it can’t own you either.

I have talked a lot in group about trusting in God.  Honestly, sometimes I wish I just talked a lot about playing it safe, but the talks never seem to get there.  I hope this is because it’s not where God lives.  That He is out beyond.  And we get to look for Him, though even in the search, He is as close as our breath.  It is harder to remember that as you get older, so clutch it tight.

I also should let you in on something you might already know: I feel so inadequate at times to do this job.

I think it is because I see you and think, “wow…just wow.”  Each of you, every single eternal soul, brings into our collective / family / tribe / outpost so many dreams, talents, abilities and gifts that it is overwhelming to think that God chose me, the least of these, to lead you.  How does this make sense?  How can this be an actual plan?

I am not the only one that feels this.

We talk often as leaders about your stories.  We hear your hurts and stare at the floor or fight tears or just sit and then the prayers come out.  Many times we have sat in our circle, heart broken over the pain you bear, wrestling with our inability to heal yet steeled with the knowledge that on our knees we are strong and able to ask for the impossible for you.  To believe that there is not only hope, but also a Living Hope that loves you more than we do and that He is for you.

You have taught me far more than what I have tried to teach you.

I can’t remember a youth night where I have walked away thinking I didn’t learn anything.  Your insights are inspiring to me and the disabling honesty in your hearts is so rare nowadays.  I hear some of your stories and wonder if I could ever get out of bed to face what you fight each day.  If I could stand like you as the waves come hard and angry.  Would I last in your shoes?

In the end I don’t know, your story is yours and mine is mine, but there is a God that we both are learning more and more about who weaved our stories together and I am so grateful He did.

I also hope your story passes mine.  I hope you go bigger.

We as your youth leaders are trying so hard to give you a foundation that anchors you to God so you can jump.  So you can do the hard stories that they say should not be done.  That you can be afraid and still run.

And run fast.

We have had so many good memories that I have a hard time not completely breaking down when I remember them all.  God is good.  The moments are so precious to my heart that I have to try very hard to not worship them.  I have had a lot of nights at youth group where I walk away murmuring, “That was why I do this!  That was so beautiful!”

But that is not reality.

The reality is that those moments are glimpses that whisper realities I can hardly believe.  They stir in my heart that, “There is another country!  My heart knew there was more!  The Story is larger!”  It is tough to not worship those times, but to worship the Giver of those times.  Try to remember that when we have that next moment.

Most write you off as the “next generation”.  You do not hold power.  You do not hold an office.  There are not many titles in your names yet, but you possess a power most of those in power forget too often.

You own Fire.

You are the sleeping giants that, once awoken to a cause, a need, a vision, you do not stop.  There is a quote about this idea somewhere I am sure…but you get the idea.  Make sure to use this passion wisely. Fire can get out of control and clear-cut neighborhoods and beauty, or it can be focused and weld metal, erect bridges and create cities. My prayer is that when you are stirred, you never settle until the God that placed the fire in you accomplishes His Will through your life.  Let this be true about your life as often as it can.

And when you grow into the positions of power and hold the titles, remember us.  Remember those that left homes and families to help guide you. Remember us and honor God by taking your place and saying your lines in the Story.  And always Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity. Stay at your post reading Scripture, giving counsel, teaching. And that special gift of ministry you were given when the leaders of the church laid hands on you and prayed—keep that dusted off and in use.

^15-16 Cultivate these things. Immerse yourself in them. The people will all see you mature right before their eyes! Keep a firm grasp on both your character and your teaching. Don’t be diverted. Just keep at it. Both you and those who hear you will experience salvation.

 

God, let it be so.